Friday, 08 March 2024
“It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me” – Song of Solomon 3:4 KJV
In 2007, I was an emotional wreck. When they say, “When it rains it pours”, the author must have had a peek into my life. I had just broken up with a woman I thought I was destined to marry. I was so heartbroken and didn’t even think it was possible to love someone like that again (I don’t even think I wanted to fall in love again). To add salt to the wound, I was an intern at Baragwanath Hospital. We were so overworked, that some of my colleagues had mental breakdowns and were ordered to take a year off so that they could emotionally recuperate. In the midst of all that darkness, a small spark was lit as I met a woman who, unbeknownst to me, would change my life for the better. We became friends (as I wasn’t interested in love again) and without even realizing it, we started dating. Against all odds, I met someone who made my heart skip a beat again. I wanted to be around her all the time. Everything I saw, heard, or touched reminded me of her. Every single minute of the spare time I had, I spent it with her. After a 36-hour long shift (with no rest or sleep) I still wanted to drive all the way to Pretoria just to spend time with her. We agreed that even though we wouldn’t be able to really chat, I would drive and sleep on her couch for 5 hours just so I could be next to her (even though we wouldn’t interact as I would be asleep). After those 5 hours, I would wake up and drive back to Soweto. Even though I was asleep during that entire time, just being next to her was worth it. I fell asleep behind the wheel a couple of times, and luckily nothing ever happened, but that still didn’t deter me from wanting to spend time with her after my long shifts. Eighteen years later I still enjoy being around her, and we still enjoy each other’s company to this day.
“But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first” Revelations 2:4 NLT. In the same manner as above, when GOD came into our lives we were at our lowest. Everything was a mess and He encountered us when some of us weren’t even looking. Life had humbled us and everything that could possibly go wrong was going very wrong. And when Jesus gave us a new life we fell in love with Him deeply (we had it bad). We wanted to spend time with Him every day. A day wouldn’t go by without us seeking Him in prayer and through His Word. We managed to find time in our VERY BUSY schedule to meditate and reflect on His Word. We memorized and recited more Scripture in a month than we currently do in a whole year. When a Scripture was burning inside of you, you’d even look for it in different translations so that you don’t miss anything. You wanted to buy different Bible translations, as one translation wasn’t enough. You knew exactly where your Bible was at ALL times, unlike now where it might take you a couple of minutes to find it. What has changed? What’s different? In Revelations 2:1-3, it’s clear that GOD isn’t primarily interested in our fruits if our relationship with Him isn’t on par. The “church” things we do in the absence of our love for Him don’t impress Him. Our love for Him is reflected by our desire to always be in fellowship with Him. In the same way, I can’t tell my wife I love her, yet I don’t set time aside to spend with her. My words and confessions of love are meaningless if my actions don’t reflect the love I profess to have for Him.
“Wisdom shouts in the streets. She cries out in the public square. She calls to the crowds along the main street, to those gathered in front of the city gate” Proverbs 1: 20-21 NLT. It’s so unbelievable how GOD continues to pursue us to this very day, even though by our actions and conduct we reject Him. His wisdom that comes from His Word is constantly calling out to us, calling us into fellowship. The Word cries out seeking a more intimate relationship with us. The same Word that has created all things, the same Word that is the Author and Finisher of our faith. Yet we still drag our feet and do not prioritize Him above everything else.
“He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him” John 1:10-11 NIV. This is thee most painful passage of scripture in the Bible for me. He gave everything that we, who are made through Him, might want an intimate relationship with Him. Yet we, who are made through and by Him, continuously reject Him day after day. He came to His own, yet His own refuses to prioritize Him. And how do we prioritize Him? By returning to our first love. We prioritize Him by seeking Him with all our hearts while He may be found. And this can only be achieved by consuming His Word because our life depends on it.
My words and confessions of love are meaningless if my actions don’t reflect the love I profess to have for Him
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